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We are going to be talking about—sort of revisiting two different concepts. One where your beliefs come from, and two if you have a belief why you believe real estate won’t work for you it had to have come from two sources.
You either learned it from someone who failed at real estate, or you just simply made it up.
The reason I am revisiting this is because if you go to Lifestyles Unlimited dot com, you’ll notice that that radio show gets hit every day — 40, 50, 60 people are logging onto it and rewatching it and that was weeks and weeks ago. So I think it’s something that’s important to people.
So I want to build on that concept. Because as I say that, some of you have taken it the next step further and you have figured out if there’s anything that other people are doing successfully that you are not, and you believe you can’t, you had to have learned that from a failure. That’s 90 percent of it.
There is ten percent, which is just flat out crazy. And please don’t put too much weight on these percentages. This is just based on my past experience. The vast majority of people that actually have referral past experience where they can say real estate doesn’t work because my uncle owned it, or because I owned it. Remember that means you’re relying on a failure.
Be Careful Where you Get Your Advice
And did you notice that I just mentioned who in that last scenario? You. If you go out and do something wrong and fail at it and then you run around going, man, see marriage doesn’t work, exercise doesn’t work, nutrition doesn’t work, real estate doesn’t work. I tried it, man. You’re listening to a failure. Now, remember this, be careful. Does that mean you are a failure in everything in your life? Absolutely not.
You could be successful at 90 percent of your life and fail financially. You might be a great husband, or great wife, a great parent, a great sister. You might be great at your charities. You might be great at keeping yourself in shape. You might be great at having fun. But you just don’t quite get it on money.
You have always lived paycheck to paycheck. You have always had credit card debt. You have always had problems with money. But hey, it’s not your fault—it’s money’s fault. It’s not your fault—it’s the government’s fault. If they just charged me less in taxes, I would be way ahead of the game. Or it’s real estate’s fault, or it’s the corporation’s, or it’s capitalism’s fault. But that’s not true. It’s your fault.
Take Responsibility
And the power of that and the cure is in that statement. The moment you take responsibility for your financial position means you can change it. But until you take responsibility for it you can’t change it because it’s out there. You’re blaming somebody else.
So let’s start first off with what we just discussed—I think it was about two weeks ago. Where do you get your beliefs from anyway? And I use the example from Anthony Robbins. If you have not seen this guy live or listened to his set of 30 CD’s it is invaluable. I can’t say enough about it. There’s nobody—I’ve never met one person that bought his CD’s, executed them—I want to be very careful.
There’s a big difference between buying somebody’s book or buying somebody’s CD, reading it, throwing it on a shelf, or halfway reading it, or not reading it at all and then going — that’s another one that I love. Tony Robbins doesn’t work. No, you didn’t work Tony Robbins. You didn’t read it. You didn’t study it. You didn’t execute what he had in his CD’s. It’s the same thing.
What is a Belief?
But bottom line is he’ll explain that your beliefs sit on a tabletop. What holds your beliefs up, what makes you believe them—meaning a belief is anything you feel reasonably secure about. The reason you believe them is because you have got past experience under them. Legs of past experience. And those legs of past experience are going to be—let’s say that you believe the eye of a stove is hot.
There’s your belief. Just about all of you believe that, right? Well, why? Well, first off before you were even old enough to walk people who loved you picked you up, hugged you, kissed you, they saw you move toward the stove. They said sweetheart, don’t put your hand up there, it’s hot. That’s a thing called referral past experience. So there’s one of the legs.
Another one of your legs might be you put your hand up there and touched it. You burnt your hand. That’s your own past experience. Your own past experience, so there’s another leg. You’ve seen water boil on it, that’s a past experience. So underneath your beliefs will be all of these past experiences telling you that something is true—such as the eye of a stove is hot.
Referral Past Experiences
However, let’s go back to the first one I shared with you. Most of your beliefs about money and about life are things you’ve never done before. Bear with me ‘cause some of this is going to be irritating, especially to those of you who think that women are the problem or you women who think that men are the problem.
The men and the women who have been divorced five or six times sit around all day telling you how bad the opposite sex is, that it’s all their fault, that it’s this, it’s that, it’s—and they literally—even though they are sitting there with—now remember, we’re talking about one aspect of life right now, marriage—with a bunch of other people who failed at marriage asking them how to succeed. They for some reason think that if a bunch of people who have failed at marriage would all get together, they’ll be able to figure out what does work. No. All that group can do is tell you everything that doesn’t work.
Learn From Other People’s… Successes
Which falls into the perimeter of learn from other people’s mistakes, right? That’s BS. It’s a lie. You cannot build on other people’s mistakes. But isn’t it interesting? Every one of you could finish that sentence. Learn from other people’s mistakes. But whether it’s Kim Blanchard or Tony Robbins or Deepak Chopra or us, we are going to tell you no, you learn from other people’s successes. The poor and middle class learn from other people’s mistakes. The billionaires and millionaires learn from other people’s successes.
If you want to have a deep, long-term, meaningful marriage, you had better quit hanging out with all your divorced friends and hang out with people who are married long term. They’re going to have the habits. They are going to have the beliefs. They’re going to have the system for maintaining a long-term relationship.
Well, let’s go back to touching the eye of a stove. Referral past experience is your parents, teachers, someone who loved you stopped you when they saw you moving towards a stove and they taught you. In that case it’s excellent. The problem is as I described with the divorces, most referral past experience is poor. It’s horrible. Horrible.
I said this to a doctor recently. Man, I had better not touch on that one. Let’s put it this way. I don’t care what title a person has. I don’t care how much education a person has. I don’t care what titles, degrees—it’s results, people. Results.
